MY DEAR SULTAN, MASTER OF MASTERS 

I was not granted a dream last night, but a fantasy approached a nook in my mind. We were walking down a road together. It is a road that expands as we walk. There are no trees, vehicles or land. No travelers but the two of us. You are the person I want most to talk to, but I cannot look at your face although we are side-by-side. The aroma of rose exuding from your skin makes me dizzy. There are questions in my bag - questions like big and little stones. I want to take them out one by one, lighten up and then fly with you.

I stick my hand in my bag and fill it up. Questions come out like: "What is the wisdom of your being an orphan? And losing your mother? Tasting the death of your children and receiving news of the murder of your grandchildren?  What are the reasons you were dealt so much hunger, poverty, treachery and slander? How did you live the pressure of receiving revelation? Did the concern you felt when revelation ceased for a while bring you to the threshold of losing yourself in the desert, and did you really feel abandoned?" But I cannot put them in words. No, I say to myself, our conversation cannot begin like this.

I put my hand in my bag again. Two verses come up. One is from Duha Sura. Allah says, "We did not create the heavens and earth and everything in between only as a game." Also one from the Hadid Sura speaks out: "Know, O Mankind, that life in this world consists only of a game, a passing entertainment and a beautiful show." Now how should I understand these two verses? Do you want to say, "Play the game seriously, but don't forget it's a game"? Would I be mistaken to understand this as an effort to rehabilitate an actor who cannot escape from the character of a psychologist he played with the discipline and skill a director expects from a player? At the same time is this the command: "Don't mix the head of the coin with the tail"? My producing answers before asking the questions is nothing but poor manners.  I think this question has also fallen down. Let a new one come forward.

Another two verses. The statement from Anfal Sura, "Smite the necks of deniers and cut off their fingers. For they opposed Allah and His Messenger..." And from Maida Sura, "Most of those should be killed who oppose Allah and his representative and try to spread mischief on the earth, or they should be hung or their hands and feet cut off because of their treachery, or they should be run off the face of the earth; it is only recompense to them. This is the abasement they meet in this world."

Now the question is this: Are these words only applicable to the wars that armies you led participated in or is it a command that should be applied to deniers at all times? If it is always effective, who will give this order and who will implement it? How can it be prevented from being used as a reason for terrorist activities that take the lives of people who are both innocent and deniers? One minute. I did not read the last verse of the passage from Maida.  It concludes: "However, O Believers, except those who repent before you become stronger than them. Because you should know that Allah is very forgiving and the source of mercy." I am very confused. How can I pose the question now? Let's forget this one, too.

Another handful of questions: Why does Allah swear to figs and olives? Why night and day? Why the "late morning" time? If I knew I would swear to you on my love. How about the verse, "Allah is the light of the heavens and earth"? Isn't the purpose of light illumination? I am confused again. If I ask, he will say, "Don't you know these are verses of similitude? Ask the source of these words and wait for their meaning to be revealed to your heart." Are there no pure questions from my heart that have not been tainted by my mind?

I am just about to put my hand in my bag when its strap breaks. My stones scatter to the ground. Whew! I am lighter than a feather now. I check my heart. There is a storm inside:

Allah said to you, "My beloved, if it weren't for you, I would not have created the universe." How is that, my sultan? Does the Creator fall in love with His creature? Then why doesn't He say if I hadn't created you instead of if it weren't for you? Or is this a creator-creator relationship instead of a creator-creature relationship? Is the Creator greeting Himself in you as His most exalted manifestation?

Also, beloved of Allah, there are your words "Ana basharun." You always said, "I am a human being." You did not want believers to make you into an idol. To show that you were just a human and that you could make a mistake, when they asked you, "should we fertilize the date trees this year," you said, "fertilize them." That year they gave no fruit. They asked again the next year. You said, "Don't fertilize them." Again the date trees bore no fruit. Did you want to give a strong sign that people should use their intelligence and gain their own experience in worldly affairs?

Although you were innocent and protected, you took refuge in God from the possibility that some of your followers would mislead you with eloquence in order to get the fatwa they wanted. These mean you really were a human, a human being.

My sultan of the beautiful city of knowledge. You were Chief of State. You had a debt to a Jew when you died. The gate to this city, Ali , sold his armor and shield and paid the debt. This touched me deeply.

You came late one morning to the masjid for the morning prayer. It had never happened before. They were curious: "What happened, O Messenger?" You replied, "When I entered the road an elderly Jew was walking. I kept stride with his tiny steps. It would have been disrespectful to pass him." This also touches me profoundly. You are an ambassador of God who cut his clothing where a cat was curled up sleeping so as not to wake it up. You are the one who changed the path of your army so the ants would not be crushed. You are the one who stands behind his words and is safe from his tongue and his loins.

For this reason, my sultan, the only condolence for not living in your time and seeing you in person is my coming to this world after you. What if I had been born before you? How would I have known of you? How would I have become attached to you?

The road is coming to an end. Now we are face-to-face. You are looking in such a way that my eyes are melting from your smile. I say that I understand; I should talk without my tongue and lips. I need to become love, not in-love. You hold my hands. You say, "Find a talking Quran for the questions you wanted to ask, but couldn't." Your words fall like drops of rain: "Allah has saints who touch knowledge with love. You are not able to speak without words. Let him explain and you listen."

I asked with my eyes closed: "Well, how will I find him?"

You say, "If you seek, you will find; if you look, you will see; if you listen, you will hear. Of course, if it is your fate," and you disappear.