Express Your LoveMeral Günel
According to a report from Mu’adh ibn Jabal, the Prophet held his hand and told him:
"O Mu’adh, I swear to Allah that I truly love you." Then he said "O Mu’adh, do not neglect to say at the end of every prayer say ‘My Lord! Help me to commemorate you, to thank you and to serve you well!'" (Abu Davud, Vitr 26; Nesai, Sehv 60)
The human being is a social creature and one that gives meaning to his/her life in the framework of such relationships. The status and quality of the connection between the human and the social environment is the key to happiness in this world and the afterlife, the final goal of the individual in Islam. In this sense, what is expected from a Muslim is that they are part of society, living their life among the people and aware of their responsibilities.
Being a scholar, a wise man or a devout person, if you live on your own, is not something to be proud of. On the contrary, it is important to encourage lonely people to come out of the bottomless pit in which they have buried themselves, and to add meaning to their lives. All attitudes, starting with the most ordinary ones, will be colored by such actions, and this can be achieved with the power inherent in the ability to love just for the sake of Allah; this leads one to the horizons of betterment.
The love that we feel for our friends helps us to separate right from wrong, the beautiful from the ugly, the good from the bad; this should not be a sick love that blinds our eyes, deceiving us into the insecurity that the hearts we have won will be lost, distancing us from correcting that which is wrong or completing the deficiencies or taking us away from blessed friends, and thus causing our sensitivities to atrophy. This love, even if it cannot be understood in these modern times, times which have been stamped with two-facedness, hypocrisy, insecurity and desperation, should make the heart quake. There should be no expectation of return and the beloved should be perceived as the more skillful, the more virtuous and the better person. The human should be embraced and fed by the feeling of responsibility that springs from merely loving people with forgiveness and mercy being the provisions for the journey that carries hope.
We can learn where the responsibilities toward our loved ones starts from the story of Mu’adh, a youth who was sent by Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace, to Yemen as an administrator. The hadith of the Prophet: "If you love a fellow Muslim let them know" (Abu Davud, Adab 112-113) has been forgotten and we have started to behave with a cynicism, believing that it is better not to show affection to the people in our lives or our colleagues or those we employ as we think that this will "spoil them, making them soft". While trying to prevent this "softening" we have sadly learned that love will not flourish where there is fear. This time we have tried to embrace another wrong: to only live in words; we are trying to cling to the sea foam, hoping that it will keep us afloat.
We said that our responsibility to those we love starts with the expression of our feelings. There is a magical way to express our love: a word said with sincerity, with the power to understand what is behind the obvious and to be non-defensive; we need to adopt an impartial approach that will bring out the ability to healthily evaluate oneself. This protects us from falling into the error of taking personally every constructive criticism.
With this hadith, the Prophet presents concrete prescriptions that will strengthen the love and companionship between two people; the ties of friendship is the expression of love, being addressed by name, holding hands ...the Prophet did not merely use examples to show us all these sincere intentions, he also opened the doors for us to understand what sensitive points we can reach in the hearts and brains of people if we approach them with sincere and well-intentioned friendship. The matter of the manner in which we give advice and directions to ourselves and others can enlighten our horizons.
The lover should desire the benefit of the beloved. To share what we know with others, to provide useful advice in every circumstance for other people, to be an instrument for spiritual expansion, supporting tasks and efforts made in keeping with servanthood are all responsibilities that should not be avoided by people who love one another for the sake of Allah. At every moment, in every task, we are in need of Allah's help; we should remember and remind others that this is the result of being a "servant".
When we consider the concept of the blessed effort, which is one that is performed continuously, even if it is small, we realize once more how much we are in need of the friends who will remind us of these prayers that are found in the hadiths.